Club Med (Bali) – Inside Scoop Into What Really Goes on . . .
To enter Club Med is a bit like going to heaven, but with a buffet for every meal. From the minute you enter the club, your happiness is paramount and everyone is paid to ensure you stay that way.
We were picked up at the airport by a Balinese man with a club med sign looking for ‘The Partingtons’ – 15 minutes drive and we are greeted by our first ‘ GO’ ( Gentle Organiser) who are the people who make sure you have a good time by organising your activities in the club. When I last visited Club Med Bali 20 years ago, we were greeted by up to 10 GO’s clapping us in. Times have changed, budgets are tighter and the GO’s are stretched across multiple activities, sports, concerts etc. All the guests are called GM’s ( Gentle Members) and we were greeted with some local Balinese delicacies, some iced tea and a refreshingly cold peppermint scented towel.
Upon entering our rooms, we were pleasantly surprised with the space and decor.It is not world class, but you are only in your rooms a few hours each night anyway. We had adjoining rooms with our kids giving us a wall and a little bit of distance from their mess and noise. The facilities and gardens are postcard perfect, and you can’t take a bad photo here.The aquatic areas are sensational with a family pool , plus a ‘Zen’ pool created just for adults wanting some peace and quiet from their kids, complete with infinity edge. The majority of people staying at Club Med are families with dry few single people. They have nannies for the little ones, a kid’s club for under 11’s plus a Junior club for 12-17 yo kids. They get to do activities and sports together and even go on excursions and eat as a group if they desire.Is surreal to live in a money-less society for 10 days, where you don’t need to carry a wallet and don’t need to be concerned what the kids are spending.
The Bali Club Med has a sports centre with tennis courts, squash courts, gymnasium, fitness room, archery, table tennis, pool tables, day spa, quiet pool, steam room plus so much more.
The Sailing Club offers stand up paddle boards, kayaks, windsurfing, catamarans, snorkelling plus beach volleyball and bocce. Close by we hired jet skis from local traders where you have no rules for 30 minutes. We hired two jet ski’s but had both had to receive running repairs as the jet ski’s kept taking in rubbish ( plastic bags) and clogging the motors. Great fun and another item off the bucket list at $50 each. There is also a trapeze set up complete with GO’s to teach you the finer points of aerial acrobatics and also act as a ‘ catcher’ if you are game to try.
The good times are constantly rolling with great music being piped around the many bars and pools plus the real kicker..FREE drinks! This includes spirits, cocktails and just about anything else you can consume. We tend to exhaust the mocktails during the day and then hit the cocktails at night. The bartenders are fast and can knock up a piña colada in seconds. Singing duos and trios play throughout the day to keep you entertained. The staff are constantly saying “hello” to everyone no matter where you are In the club. If you don’t nod and say ” hello” you are not part of the Club atmosphere. GO’s will come up and chat with you at the bar, ask where you are from and get into some international banter about your country and life at the Club.
The food is nothing short of spectacular with dining options inside and outside plus a fine dining restaurant for those wanting a romantic night out. The cuisine changes each day and night with a dress code to match. We experienced a white, black, red night plus a Balinese themed evening. You actually get stressed deciding what to fill your plates with, as there is so much choice and most people go back to the buffet several times. Dessert is a staple at Club Med, with French patisserie items, ice cream, cheesecakes and a vast array of other delicious items.
For those wanting massages, there are choices aplenty. You can go upmarket at the Club Med Day Spa, along the beach for some local Balinese women to work you over, or to a street massage salon at a fixed price ($6.50) or even have a 4 hand massage for $11. There are markets within 5 minutes of the club, but the same traders bring their wares inside the club on selected days for some around the pool bartering. Club Med employs great photographers who catch you participating in the many activities each day, so you don’t even need your camera out to capture the memories. Each day you can see if you were snapped and create a folder on the computer where you can buy your pics at the end of your holiday.
Each night is themed with a colour, which you are asked to wear. The “white” night is popular and has maximum impact. The theme often extends into the shows put on by the Club Med GO’s every night which keeps everyone entertained for an hour after dinner. One night during the week is dedicated to tradition Balinese dancing and culture. This is the only show that is not performed by the GO’s. The Chief de Village is very charismatic and is adept at pumping up the crowd. He ramps up the music, gets everyone out of their seats and gets them dancing and hand waving like performing seals. A conga line usually follows strategically leading the crowd to the bar for some more dancing and partying. Another conga line forms later in the night leading to the Beach Nightclub for more music and dancing. The upbeat tunes played keep the energy levels at record highs. You don’t need alcohol to dance and party as everyone around you is doing the same thing and you actually look like a party pooper if you don’t join in. The chief will also hunt down ‘ non party people’ and grab them by the hand and force them to have a good time in front of the performers. They usually end up having a ball and getting the maximum enjoyment out of the Club Med experience.
It’s a unique holiday that taps into old fashioned themes such as friendliness, fun, participation and dancing. I can certainly recommend Club Med to anyone who wants a ‘doing’ holiday as opposed to a quiet sit around the pool holiday. You certainly have the quiet option if you prefer, but you would not be utilising most of the Club and may be better off at a 5 or 6 star hotel. Club Med is about outdoor activities and socialising, not playing on laptops and technology. There are plenty of great distractions to lure the kids away from the wi-fi
The big tip from me is to do outings away from the Club every 2nd day and then have a lazy day the next. I would suggest a 7-8 day stay maximum as the themes repeat after 7 days, and you are usually exhausted. The memorable party songs will stay with you forever and I will always think of Club Med whenever I hear ” Wake Me Up” by Avicii. So who is next to put their “hands up”???
