Bali Highlights – “Yes Boss… Bintang?, Me Give You Good Price”

Kuta Beach is the Aussie home away from home. The market stalls are full of cheap rubbish and every stall is exactly the same as the next. Local people man the stalls, some of them asleep waiting till they hear footsteps and instinctively yell out ” Yes Boss, Bintang, very cheap, me give you good price”. This mantra is echoed every two metres with stall holders trying to find new ways to engage us. The locals try to put on an Aussie accent and say “g’day mate” or yell out ” I’ ll give you a bloody cheap price, Mate, bloody cheap”. The beach stalls are similar but people constantly ask “surfing lessons Boss? Bintang, very cold Boss”.

The main goal is for them to entice us into their stall for a look. Once in the narrow aisle way your path is blocked and you are offered some of the most hideous hats, tops and souvenirs of all time. This includes penis shaped wooden bottle openers. There are some clever t- shirt sayings such as the following:

I am not gay, but $20 is $20.
Sucked in Ketut, I f@cked Rhonda

I had one guy manhandle me a bit and almost refuse me exiting unless I bought something. I ended up having to push him away. I tried almost every hat in Bali looking for an XL size, with no luck whatsoever. The bartering usually starts with us asking for a price, the stall holder states an inflated price and types it into the calculator to show us. We then say ” too dear” and they then ask “tell me your price?”.

I wore no shirt, and was sweating like mad. This did not bother the stall holders who let me try on hats and tops at my leisure. Soon as they ask your size they run off to another stall and bring back a selection of styles and colours in your size. At the end of the day, it is just cheap stuff that can be purchased (even next to Club Med).

There are some more slightly better shops with similar products at slightly higher prices. The Airconditioning is a welcome relief, and no-one hassles you either. Everything is a fixed price and the shopping experience is much more tolerable.